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The very nature of tramping teaches kids how to be resilient – a tool they can take into other areas of life.

I didn’t realise that taking my children tramping would teach them an important life lesson – how to be resilient.

Resilience is a buzzword, but it’s a highly valuable skill for all of us to learn. Over the past six years I’ve helped to build it in Nathan, Kipton and Emilia almost unwittingly.

The Oxford Dictionary defines resilience as ‘the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness’. It’s not the happening but the reacting.

This is something we all want our children to learn. But how to teach it? I’ve discovered the best lessons, those we really remember, often have a physical and an emotional component. My family has found that in tramping.

When Emilia was three and a half we took her to Mueller Hut. This steep track involves 2000 steps to the Sealy Tarns, then a rugged, rocky trail to the hut. Emilia flew up the stairs with Nathan encouraging her all the way. We put her at the front and let the two of them get a lead, which helped them ‘not get caught’.

Emilia found the next section pretty tough, though. Little legs meant there were many big step-ups. She watched as her dad, Ashley, and her brothers pulled ahead while she and I slipped further behind.

We’ve all had that moment where the end feels like it’s getting away from us. So we sat for a minute; she had a little cry, and we went over our family mantras:

1. It’s not a race; there are no extra points for arriving first. We will all make it in the end.

2. It’s just one foot after the other; every step forward brings us closer.

3. If we’ve got sore muscles today, we are getting stronger for tomorrow.

Then we kept going. It took her almost six hours and a few lollies to reach the hut, but she made it. 

Kipton and Nathan hiked the Routeburn aged six and eight, and the Kepler at seven and nine. We learned a lot on those trips. The boys carried their own sleeping bags, clothes and water, each pack weighing around 4–5kg. We made mistakes on the Routeburn, such as bringing too many dehydrated meals that the kids got bored with, but they kept going even when they were tired.

As a five-year-old Emilia hiked to Brewster Hut. On the way down she became exhausted and started losing her funnies (as my dad used to say). I offered to take her pack and she refused, saying, “But then I can’t say I hiked all the way there and back with my pack.” It was the first time she had carried her own sleeping bag and clothes like her big brothers. She was adamant she wanted to claim that honour.

Now when a hike is getting hard we can say “remember when …” and Emilia recalls how she didn’t give up – and the feeling when she finally made it. It gives her confidence because she knows she can succeed.

This learning translates to other areas of life, including school and sport. Through tramping my children have learned that they can do the tough stuff on their own. They’ve learned they can keep fighting those hard feelings and they’ve experienced the joy of overcoming adversity, and that it’s worth striving for. They’ve learned they are resilient.

I now have three ‘grown-ups’ who know  the self-talk to get themselves through – the skills and values I want to arm them with for life.